Anyone Can Cook
by H20loo
Summary: Not everyone has the talent for cooking, as Mim and Shego find out when their partners cook for them. Part of the Visitors Universe.


A/N: This is set in the Visitors Universe (as usual if I'm writing KP), and at least a few of these characters belong to Disney.

Dedication: for Invader Johnny, because well, he asked. ;)

Anyone Can Cook

Generation One

Mim strode up to the doors of the Mansion, relieved to be at home after a long day at the _Gazette_. The door was unlocked as usual, so she turned the knob and went in, only to pause when a ghastly smell assaulted her nose. Just as she was about to raise her voice and inquire to her wife about it, her ears were assaulted with a stream of colorful curse words emanating from the kitchen in a voice that sounded a great deal like Lil's. "Oh, I see," Mim uttered, as she put down her things and headed for the kitchen.

Unsurprisingly, the kitchen was a cacophony of smells and sounds; steam rose from various pots, a small fire had broken out in a saucepan, and muttered curse words still fell from her beloved's lips. "May I assist you with anything, my love?" Mim asked as gently as she could, knowing how defensive Sheila could get when she was not succeeding at something.

Sheila whirled around, and Mim noted the various spills and stains that dotted the front of her clothing, along with a few burn marks along the edges of her pinafore. One those marks extended past the pinafore to the collar of Sheila's dress, and Mim only hoped that the flame had not burned into the delicate skin beneath. "No, I am quite all right, my darling," Sheila insisted, knowing from her wife's skeptical look that Mim was not believing her for a second. "There are drinks and small nibbles in the parlor. Please wait for me there and I will be out shortly with our dinner." Mim hesitated but finally did as Sheila asked, her desire to make Sheila happy winning out over her worry about Lil's proficiency in the kitchen.

Mim forgot her anxiety for a brief second as she entered the parlor, lost in the thoughtfulness that surrounded her. Lil had obviously been working very hard, and the room was stunningly appointed. One of Mim's favorite wines stood uncorked and breathing on a small table that also held beautiful crystal wine glasses that Mim was sure were new. On a separate table lay meats and cheeses of varieties that were rare in Middleton but were also Mim's favorites. Another table held lilies, again Mim's favorite, and Mim's hand went involuntarily to her chest as a wave of affection washed over her.

"Do you like it?" Sheila asked hesitantly from behind Mim, and Mim turned on her heel to see Lil standing in the doorway.

"I love it," Mim responded, crossing the floor and enveloping Sheila in an embrace. "But why? What is the occasion for which you are spoiling me so terribly well? Have I forgotten something important?"

Sheila smirked. "You forget very, very little, even when there are things I would like you to forget," she said wryly, and Mim blushed in mild embarrassment. "No, there is nothing of import. I just wanted to pamper you to let you know how very much you mean to me."

Mim smiled and drew Sheila in for a kiss. "Thank you," Mim said, as her lips barely separated from Sheila's. "But you know you do not have to wine and dine me. I am irrevocably yours."

"I know," Sheila admitted, before her smile turned wicked, and her lips wandered lower than Mim's lips. "Then perhaps this is all just a ruse to seduce you?" she offered. "A way to get you into our marriage bed?"

Mim laughed, both from the tickling sensation of Sheila's breath against her skin and Lil's words. "We enjoy our marriage bed practically every night, dearest," Mim reminded Sheila, causing her fair cheeks to once again blossom into rouge as she thought of their intimate times. Upon seeing the blush, it was Sheila's turn to chuckle, but Mim shushed her. "Regardless of your reasons, this is all very sweet, Lil, and I thank you for it," she said, kissing Sheila softly.

Sheila seized the opportunity and deepened the kiss, her hands tightening around Mim's waist. Mim was tempted to respond, but she resisted temptation and regretfully pushed Sheila away. "I believe you said something about dinner, Lil?" she inquired, and Sheila sighed.

"You are right as usual, Mim," Sheila replied, releasing her spouse. "Before our conversation turned to other things, I had come up here to tell you everything was ready."

"Then we should enjoy everything before it has a chance to grow cold," Mim decided. She glanced around the room, and spying the wine and glasses, she retrieved the bottle and two of the crystal chalices. "I think these would make nice accompaniments to your cooking, but the rest will keep," she said. "We can return to them after dinner if our appetite allows."

"That sounds splendid," Sheila agreed, offering her arm to Mim. Mim took it and arm-in-arm, they descended the stairs and entered the dining room.

The dining room, much like the parlor, had been decorated beautifully; an exquisite china pattern lay spread out, and intricate silverware accompanied it. Mim took it all in with a smile, but her smile faltered as she got a closer look at, or rather the smell of, the dishes that Sheila had prepared. The odor ranged from over-caramelized to outright charred, coupled with a few mystery spices and an overwhelming amount of vinegar. The scents did nothing for Mim's appetite, but the proud look on Sheila's face made Mim determined to eat as much as she was physically able. "This smells lovely, my love," she lied convincingly, and Sheila beamed even more widely as she pulled out the seat for Mim.

Sheila busied herself portioning out their plates, and when she was finished, she set a plate down in front of Mim. Mim bravely smiled her thanks, and after Sheila had poured the wine and been seated, they both reached for their forks. Sheila enthusiastically took a bite while Mim gingerly picked up _something_ off of her plate; its current state of char made it quite impossible for a positive identification to be made, but it looked like it had once been food. Mim put it into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully, allowing only the smallest of grimaces to pass her face before she reached for her wine.

The wine eased the food's stuttering passage down her throat, and Mim took a small breath before selecting something else from her plate. She brought her loaded fork up to her lips, but before she could force herself to put whatever it was in her mouth, Sheila reached out a hand to stop her. "You do not have to eat that, Mim," Sheila told her with affection.

"Whatever are you talking about, Lil?" Mim questioned. "You have spent a great deal of time and effort to make this meal, and it would be incredibly rude of me not to."

"If the food were actually edible, you might have a point, darling," Sheila answered, using her hand to bring Mim's arm back down to the table. "But this food is vile, and I apologize for putting it on your plate. I knew I should have listen to my instincts and hired a proper cook for this evening instead of trying my own hand at it."

"It was just the one item," Mim said optimistically. "Perhaps another selection would be better."

"No, everything I cooked is rather putrid," Sheila admitted with a wry smirk. "And I appreciate your determination and optimism as always, but, Mim, this meal cannot be saved."

"But you worked so hard on it, Lil," Mim said regretfully. "I would like to show my appreciation for all the trouble you took."

"Then bring your wine glass and come back upstairs to the parlor," Sheila offered, rising herself and clutching her glass. "There is more than enough food and wine there to satisfy us, and we will not be tormented by the sight and smell of _this_ food."

"If you insist," Mim replied, gratefully abandoning her plate and rising from the table, glass in hand.

"I do," Sheila confirmed, before setting down her glass and kissing Mim soundly. "And I thank you for being willing to eat this meal in order to suffer my folly," she said when they separated.

"You are welcome and thank you for making it, even if it was not as successful as you might have hoped," Mim responded, kissing her back. Sheila smiled and led Mim back up the stairs to the parlor where fine food, wine and companionship surrounded them for the rest of their memorable evening. Mim, to her dismay, discovered that the burn on Sheila's collar did extend to her neck, but after a salve of kisses and caresses that left Lil breathless, Mim was satisfied that it no longer troubled her wife.

Generation Two

Shego strolled up to the doors of the Mansion, a bouquet of green and white roses in her hand. The green ones were a brand new species; Dr. Ara Bidopsis, director of the Middleton Botanical Gardens and close family friend, had specifically bred them to be "Team Possible Green" as he called it. In her pockets were a pair of morganite earrings and a mini rocket launcher, and Shego was proud of the anniversary gifts that she had picked out.

Shego turned the knob and went in, but her nose wrinkled up instinctively at the heavy smell of burning that was in the air. She looked around for any potential sources of fire, but everything seemed okay…until she looked at the kitchen door. Smoke was pouring out the door jamb near the top, and Shego sighed as it could only mean one thing: Kimmie had decided to make her dinner for their anniversary. Shego loved the redhead more than life, and she really couldn't wait for graduation to come around so they could finally be married, but for the life of her, her Princess couldn't cook. Kim tried her damnedest, and she bought every cookbook she could get her hands on, but somehow the daughter of an astrophysicist and a brain surgeon could not follow a recipe, and anything Kim attempted was an epic disaster.

Shego sighed again before steeling herself to go into the kitchen. She hated disappointing Kim, and if she made any kind of sarcastic remark or did anything else that faulted Kim's cooking, Kim was going to be disappointed. So, Shego put on her loving, interested girlfriend face, thanked whatever superior power listening that she was excellent at lying, and walked through the kitchen door. "Hey there, Princess," she said, causing Kim to turn around from the oven. "Happy Anniversary. I brought you these," she added, holding out the green and white roses.

Kim's face broke out into a wide grin, and she abandoned her place at the slightly-smoking stove to wrap Shego up in a hug. "Happy Anniversary, sweetie!" she answered cheerfully, kissing Shego in thanks. "And these are gorgeous!" Kim said as she looked them over more closely. "Where in the world did you find this shade of green?"

"Dr. Bidopsis made them for us," Shego replied, wrapping her arms around Kim's waist and returning her kiss.

"I'll have to thank him the next time I see him," Kim decided, taking the bouquet to find a vase to put them in. After she had found a vase, she put water in it and unwrapped the flowers, arranging them and putting them on the kitchen table. With that mission accomplished, Kim turned her attention back towards the stove. "I hope you are hungry," she said, with a happy gleam in her eye as she stirred various pots.

Shego plastered on a smile. "Starved," she lied smoothly.

"Well, dinner will be ready in about five minutes," Kim told her.

"Need any help?" Shego asked, hoping there might be one dish she would be able to salvage.

"No, I've got it," Kim answered, much to Shego's dismay. "But I always love it when you are here with me."

Shego's cynical heart melted a bit with that affectionate statement, so she decided to stop worrying about the inedible dinner and just enjoy being with her girlfriend. "Of course I'll stay," she said, pulling out one of the kitchen chairs and sitting it. Kim smiled at her and continued cooking while starting up a conversation about their latest mission and her day at college.

Shego responded when appropriate, but her mind was mostly focused on watching Kim flit around the kitchen. She loved the way Kim moved and could never watch it long enough. Her voice, though always perky and cheerful, was mesmerizing, and Shego could listen to it for hours without actually hearing a word Kim had said. Kind of like she was doing now, Shego realized wryly, as Kim looked at her expectantly, obviously waiting for a reply. "Um, yes?" Shego offered hesitantly.

"It wasn't a yes or no question, sweetie," Kim informed her with affectionate disapproval. "You haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you?"

"Um, no," Shego said truthfully. "I was too distracted by your body and your voice to really comprehend the words you were saying."

Kim laughed. "You are incorrigible," she said lovingly, sitting down in Shego's lap and kissing her thoroughly. Shego kissed back enthusiastically, and before either of them realized it, Kim's shirt had hit the kitchen floor. Kim, realizing what was going to happen if they didn't stop, gently pushed Shego back. "Sweetie, if we keep this up, dinner will be completely ruined," she said, sighing as Shego went right back to kissing her now-bare shoulder.

Shego, a bit lost in her lust and her explorations of Kim's body, answered without thinking. "That's okay, Princess," she murmured against Kim's skin, "it probably wasn't edible anyway." Kim stiffened and pulled away, and Kim's actions led Shego to realize what she had said. Shego looked up into Kim's hurt and disappointed face. "Shit," she muttered to herself. "I'm sorry, Pumpkin," Shego said more loudly.

"You didn't even taste it!" Kim scowled.

"I know," Shego admitted. "I used previous history, and well, current odors, and I shouldn't have. It was dumb of me, and I hurt your feelings, and I shouldn't have, especially today of all days."

Kim's anger cooled at Shego's contrite face. "It's okay, sweetie," she said, kissing her girlfriend's forehead. "I do have a well-deserved reputation." Kim swung her leg around and lifted herself off Shego, reaching down to swipe her shirt off the floor. She put it back on and went back to the stove. "Will you at least try it?" she asked Shego plaintively, holding up a wooden spoon.

Shego scrambled off the chair as fast as she could, relieved that she wasn't in more serious trouble. "You betcha, Princess," she said, quickly coming to Kim's side and opening her mouth. Kim stuck the spoon in, and Shego's lips scraped off its contents. The sauce wasn't godawful, Shego had to admit to herself, but it still didn't taste good. She hesitantly swallowed, and the food went down, albeit somewhat reluctantly, but it went down. After it had gone down, Shego coughed just a bit and reached for the glass of water that Kim had sitting by the stove. "It was better than anything that you've made in the past," Shego said diplomatically.

"But you still didn't like it," Kim accused.

Shego squirmed under that accusing gaze, trying to will herself to lie. She failed, and she reluctantly confessed the truth. "But I still don't like it because it doesn't taste very good," she admitted.

Kim sighed. "Well, thank you for being honest," she said unhappily as she dejectedly put the spoon back in the sauce.

Shego's heart panged at Kim's dejection, so she tried to make Kim feel better. "I brought you pretty earrings," she offered, bringing out the gems from her pocket and lovingly putting them in Kim's ears with a kiss to her cheek. "And I brought you an itty bitty rocket launcher that can take out a five-story building from a mile away," she continued, bringing out the pocket-sized weapon of mass destruction and placing it into Kim's hand. Shego smiled hopefully, and Kim felt her ears and looked in her hand before placing the mini rocket launcher on the counter. She turned off the stove burners and the oven before wrapping her arms around Shego.

"You may not like my cooking, but you are a seriously wonderful girlfriend, you dork," Kim said affectionately. "I love you."

Shego chuckled and returned the hug ferociously. "I love you too, Princess," she replied.

"So what do we do about dinner?" Kim asked resignedly.

"Well, how about I clean this up, you change into something not food spattered and I take you to that sushi bar and teppanyaki place you like so much?" Shego proposed.

"Deal," Kim decided as she gave Shego a kiss and headed up the stairs. Shego smirked after her for a bit, then put the mini rocket launcher in the lockbox before starting her cleanup. Throwing all of the food away and putting the dishes in the dishwasher didn't take long, so she was ready to go when Kim came back down. Shego plucked a green rose from the vase and offered it to Kim. Kim accepted it with a smile and a kiss, and Shego gave her a sweet kiss back before they headed out to the car.

Generation Three

Four adults, two living and two deceased, sat in the parlor waiting for the call to come into the dining room for dinner. "Do really think it was okay for us to let the girls make us dinner without any supervision?" Kim asked uneasily. "They are only thirteen and eleven."

"Eh, they couldn't be any worse than you in the kitchen," Shego joked unconcernedly, fully expecting, and receiving, a pointed glare from Kim.

"We weren't discussing my cooking skills, Shego," Kim said irritably. "I'm more worried about them getting hurt."

"A good worry to be sure, Kimmie-Ann," Mim agreed. "But do recall that your children have the same special abilities as your wife, and as such, they cannot be burnt. Since this would be the most common of kitchen maladies, they are more than likely safe."

"True," Kim allowed. "But I'm still their mother and I have every right to be worried about them."

"But of course you do," Sheila granted. "But your little ladies have been wanting to do this for all four of us for ages, so it is only polite to let them, even if only you two can partake of the feast."

"And if neither you nor Nana Sheila are helping them, then there is a good change it might actually taste good," Shego hypothesized sarcastically.

"Listen, Junior, if you keep up the jokes about my cooking, you are not getting anywhere near our bedroom tonight, even if it _is_ our anniversary," Kim warned, only half-jokingly.

Shego laughed. "All right, Princess," she surrendered. "I promise I won't make any more jokes about your cooking. Maybe," she added cheekily.

"You had best behave yourself, Junior," Sheila cautioned. "Possible women have notoriously long memories and can carry a grudge for times interminable."

"And now who is trying to get herself in trouble?" Mim inquired pointedly.

"I was not accusing you of anything, my love," Sheila countered. "I was merely pointing out pertinent facts to Junior."

"Of course you were," Mim harrumphed.

"Well, at least you are dead, Nana Sheila," Shego said. "Nana Mim can't cut off your sexy times if you two don't have bodies anymore."

Both of the Possible ladies blushed at that, but Sheila snorted. "You have absolutely no imagination, Junior," she said audaciously, a wicked smirk appearing.

Mim blushed deeper, and Shego pondered the statement. "Ew," was her conclusion, causing Kim to laugh and Mim to cough.

"Well, I do believe that is enough of that particular conversation," Mim decided quickly, much to Shego's relief.

The four of them sat in silence for a few minutes more until Surprise opened the door and came in. She was dressed in black pants, a white shirt, a black tie, and an apron, and she looked exactly like a miniature version of the Shego that had once tried to disrupt Kim's date with Josh Mankey. That caused a wave of nostalgia to hit Kim and Shego at exactly the same time, and they smiled at one another. "Dinner is ready," Surprise announced.

The four adults filed obediently out of the parlor, following the person they could only assume was their server. "So why are you the one bringing out the food?" Shego asked, even though she had an inkling of the reason.

"Annie and Lilly won't let me near the cooking," Surprise responded with a small pout. "They say I ruin everything I touch."

"I knew Kimmie's genes had to be in there somewhere," Shego muttered with a smirk, and Kim gave her a small whack for her troubles.

The dining room had been cleaned, and the table had been beautifully set with some of Kim and Shego's wedding china. Flowers abounded, and Shego tried to keep a proud smirk off her face when Surprise used her forefinger and a bit of green plasma to light the candles that were also plentiful. The eleven-year old ceremoniously led each one of them to their chairs and genteelly pulled them out, earning a kiss from her Mom, a wry smile from her Mama, and affectionate hugs from two ghosts. The four ladies sat, and Surprise disappeared, only to come out with two salad plates and her sisters in tow.

Annie and Lilly sat down as Surprise placed two delicious-looking Caesar salads in front of her Moms. She went back into the kitchen and picked up three more plates, bringing them into the dining room to serve her sisters and then herself. When everyone had a plate, they all started eating, and Shego's eyebrows went up. "This is really, really good, you guys," she complimented her daughters, and the Possible in them made the three of them blush.

"I'm glad you like it, Mama," Annie said sincerely.

"It's wonderful, Annie," Kim confirmed.

"Lilly made the salad," Annie deflected, and Lilly scowled at her older sister, not liking the attention.

"Well, then thank _you_ , Lilly," Kim said. "It is delicious."

"You're welcome, Mom," Lilly said embarrassedly.

Knowing she was embarrassing her daughters, Kim changed the topic of conversation to their latest activities in school and sports, and all seven of them enjoyed a lively conversation until the salads were finished. Surprise rose and cleared everyone's plates, while Annie and Lilly disappeared again. Surprise reemerged with two plates heaped with steaming spaghetti and meatballs, along with a slice of garlic bread. Setting them down, she retreated into the kitchen, again bringing her sisters and more plates.

"So who made this?" Shego asked.

"Annie did the hard stuff and made the meatballs and the sauce," Lilly responded quickly, paying Annie back for earlier. "I just boiled the pasta and made the toast."

"Well, thank you both for everything; it's all really, really tasty," Kim said. She reached beside her unexpectedly and grabbed Surprise, giving her a kiss on the cheek that made her daughter giggle. "And thank _you_ , too, Surprise. I've never had such wonderful service. I feel like a real princess," Kim said affectionately.

"Aw, thanks, Mom," Surprise said bashfully.

Kim smiled at her and they all started eating. The food was truly delicious, and everyone enjoyed themselves, including the ghosts that were merely watching. When the main course was done, Surprise sprung up again and cleared the plates. When the table was clear, she went around and served her Moms coffee before bringing out the tiramisu that was their dessert. Shego opened her mouth to ask a question, and Lilly spoke up before she could. "We bought it from the bakery," she stated, before her Moms embarrassed them anymore.

"Fine. See if we complement you anymore," Shego teased, and Lilly rolled her eyes at her Mama.

They all finished dessert, and Kim and Shego tried to help with the last dishes, only to be shooed out of the kitchen. They did as they were told, and after a while their girls emerged. They settled down to watch a movie in the family room, but the girls, exhausted from their efforts that day, fell asleep before Rey even had a chance to accept or reject the Dark Side. Kim and Shego shut the movie off and prodded the girls gently until the three of them went sleepily upstairs. Shego went around to shut off all the lights, and when she got to the kitchen, she gestured for Kim to join her. "Look at this, Princess," she said.

The kitchen was spotless; nothing was out of place, and Kim smiled. "Well, at least they got something from me," she joked. Shego chuckled and turned off the light before sweeping Kim up in her arms. Kim laughed. "Happy 15th anniversary, sweetie," she said, giving Shego a kiss.

"And here's to many, many more," Shego responded, kissing Kim deeply before whisking her upstairs to their bedroom.


End file.
